Cops in Idaho Handcuff and Harass Man for Dissing Nickelback

Nickelback

Deputies from the Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office in Idaho lost their shit after overhearing two men diss the rock band Nickelback in a gas station parking lot.  After hearing the men mock the shitty band, the deputies pulled them from the car, handcuffed one of them, and cussed them out. The incident was caught on video.

The deputies claim the men had said “Nickel Sack”, which apparently is a drug reference.  I’m not buying it.  I think those pigs were pissed off that their favorite band was being made fun of.  After all, this is the midwest.

Let this be a lesson to everyone.  If you’re ever in Idaho, and you hear Nickelback blaring from a car stereo, you better just keep your fucking mouth shut and enjoy it.  Praise Jesus.

Thug Gets Modeling Career

gang_banger

After getting arrested on June 19, Jeremy Meeks’s mugshot went viral.  And because of his pretty boy-thug looks, he now has a fan page on Facebook, has gotten offers from modeling agencies, and even has a manager.  One agency, Blaze Models, told TMZ that they can book him with companies like Versace and Armani, who would pay him between $15k and $30k a month.  They said “gangster models” are in right now.  They even referred to his teardrop tattoo as “edgy and sexy”, even though it’s a gang sign that represents the amount of people one has murdered.

Meeks was arrested because he is a 5 time convicted felon and CRIPS gang member who was caught with a 45 caliber semiautomatic handgun, along with two extended magazines and a 9mm round of ammunition.  He has a long criminal history full of crimes that include robbery, corporal injury to a child, identity theft, negligent driving, and resisting arrest.

Since the fashion world could give a shit about his victims, I thought of a few other thugs that would of made great models as well…

CHARLES MANSON

Charles_Manson

Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Michael Jeffries said in a 2006 interview with Business Insider that his brand is not for uncool or fat kids.  He explained,

Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong (in our clothes), and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”

Who better to model for an exclusive brand like Abercrombie & Fitch than Charles Manson?  He’s definitely not fat, and he had plenty of friends.  Not to mention he was popular with the ladies.  And in America, that’s really all that matters, isn’t it?

TED BUNDY

Ted_Bundy

And speaking of being popular with the ladies, serial killer Ted Bundy had more groupies than all of them.  His sophisticated looks and charming personality made it easy for women to forget that he’s only known because he was a rapist who tortured and killed his victims.  He would’ve been perfect to model for Ralph Lauren’s tie collection, which is inspired by the thrill seeking spirit of the American landscape.  After all, Ralph Lauren himself said his brand is about creating worlds, adventure, style and no boundaries.

THE NIGHT STALKER

Night_Stalker

Gucci Guilty is a daring new fragrance which is unsurpassable in style.  Richard Ramirez, also known as the Night Stalker, was a perfect fit for this cologne, which Gucci claims will bring out your most extreme side.  Ramirez definitely knew “extreme.”  During his reign of terror, he raped and murdered his victims using weapons such as tire irons, hammers, machetes, and a variety of knives and guns.  He also had his own groupies.  

JEFFREY DAHMER

Jeffrey_Dahmer

I’m pretty sure this is how most Vegans view those unrealistic Carl’s Jr. commercials.  You know, the ones where hot models like Kate Upton and Emily Ratajkowski shove greasy hamburgers into their mouths and pretend it’s giving them an orgasm?  Those chicks don’t eat like that.  Now, Jeffrey Dahmer… When he ate his food, he fucking meant it.  I’m sure when the cops were knocking on his door, he was thinking, “Don’t bother me, I’m eating” while he was licking his fingers and moaning.

Obama wants to give Terrorists $500 MILLION

Obama

The Obama Administration is requesting $500 MILLION TAX DOLLARS from Congress to aid Syrian rebels.  Notice how they refer to them as ‘rebels’, and not ‘terrorists’, which is what I refer to them as.  That’s because they’re American-hating muslim extremists who have pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda.  They also commit mass executions.  They are also cannibals.

This is nothing new for the US.  We gave MILLIONS of tax dollars to Saddam Hussein when he was fighting Iran, and also to the Taliban when they were fighting the Soviets.  Somehow that didn’t work out for us.

Obama has addressed these concerns by mentioning he will make sure the money doesn’t end up “in the wrong hands.”  However, I believe he was referring to US veterans.

Studies show that People are Stupid Assholes

When was the last time you thought about the fact that most human beings are stupid assholes who are full shit and undeserving of a good life?  All you have to do is get stuck in traffic, pay attention to the kind of politicians the general public voted into office, or listen to all the shitty bands on the Billboard Top 20 to notice just how utterly inane humans are.  This point of view may be considered by some to be pessimistic, but studies actually prove this to be fact…

STUDIES THAT PROVE HUMANS ARE ASSHOLES

Drivers intentionally run over turtles: A  student at Clemson University conducted a study by putting a fake rubber turtle on the side on the road.  Within an hour, seven drivers deliberately swerved to hit what they thought was a helpless turtle.

Internet Trolls are Sadistic Psychopaths: Research from the University of Manitoba found that people who engage in internet trolling have personality traits of Machiavellianism, Nacissism, Psychopathy, and Sadism.  These are the exact same traits serial killers have.  Have you ever noticed how many people leave rude comments online?  I can’t give you an exact number, but it’s in the Billions.

Boys who play football are abusive: There’s nothing wrong with boys enjoying a game of football, right?  Wrong.  According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, teenage boys who play football are 50% more likely to abuse their female partner.

Cheating students end up working for the Government: Researchers from Harvard PROVED in a study what we already know.

People who don’t own pets don’t believe in soul mates: Match.com conducted a survey that not only revealed this, but also mentioned that people who don’t own pets are less enthusiastic and not as generous as their pet loving counterparts.  This is good news because another study shows that people who don’t have soul mates die 17 years earlier than those who do.  So the next time somebody tells you they’re not a dog person, just smile and let them know they’re going to die because of it.

US students are apathetic to Freedom of Speech: In the largest kind of study of it’s kind, The John S. and James L. Knight Foundation found a disturbing revelation: US students are not only ignorant to the basics of the First Amendment, but they don’t seem to care about them either.  However, there is still some glimmer of hope with at least some of our nation’s youth when it comes to knowing their rights, as seen in this video.

College students think they are special: Psychologist Jean Twenge used data from roughly 9 million college students over a span of four decades, and found that there is a dramatic increase in students who rate themselves ‘above average’ in areas such as confidence, drive and overall academic ability.  She also found that the opinions they have of themselves didn’t match their actual performance in those abilities.  It’s pretty amazing that the youth of today think more of themselves than their grandparents… You know, the people who refer to themselves as ‘The Greatest Generation.’

 STUDIES THAT PROVE HUMANS ARE STUPID

 Human Intelligence has declined since Victorian Era:  On average, people have lost 14 IQ points since the Victorian Era.  According to Study co-author Dr. Jan te Nijenhuis, the decline came at a time genetic selection become more relaxed, a result from the invention of Agriculture.  However, thanks to the fact the USDA accepts bribe money from the Food Industry, instead of doing their fucking job watching over them, we could be seeing a comeback in intelligence.  After several more years of Monsanto’s herbicide Glyphosate manifesting in American’s bodies, inflammation will occur and damage millions of people’s cellular systems, causing them to die.  After enough people drop dead, intelligent women will start having more babies.  That oughta bring humanity’s IQ level back up a couple notches.

People who don’t try drugs are stupid: A British Study found that kids with high IQs are more likely to get high as adults than those who score low on IQ tests as children.  Researchers figured that those with above-average intelligence have a heightened interest in experiencing altered states of consciousness.  In America alone, 23.9 Million people aged 12 or older are abusing illegal drugs.  A promising figure, no doubt, but not when you consider they merely make up 9.2 percent of the population.

Men act stupid when talking to a beautiful woman: A study by psychologists at Radboud University in the Netherlands revealed that men act dumber when talking to beautiful woman.  The experiment concluded that men lose their “cognitive functions” when talking to an attractive woman, suggesting that they are more “reproductively focused.”  Translation: Men’s boners have more brains than their actual brains.

Lil Wayne fans are retarded: American software genius Virgil Griffith conducted a study which showed the correlation between SAT scores and college students’ musical tastes.  He found that those who listened to Beethoven were the brightest.  The dumbest?  Lil Wayne fans.  Now, examine Lil Wayne’s Billboard Chart history and keep in mind Beethoven hasn’t been considered hot since the 1700′s.